Could switching one word for another completely change your life? Could it really be that simple?
When it comes to your mindset and the way that you view the world, I believe that choosing and over or can have profound impacts and drastically change how you experience your life.
A world of or
We live in a world that often tries to convince us, and the majority of us have limiting beliefs that tell us, we live in an either/or world. We’re taught pretty early on that you can have your cake, or you can eat it, but you can’t have both. Some other things you may have heard or been told before:
- You can be a good person or you can be rich
- You can chase your passion or be responsible
- You can have a great career or have a family
- You can work or travel
- You can eat what you want or be in great shape
- You can have many friends or you can have good friends
But what if you could have your cake and eat it too? What if you could gleefully devour your cake because you believe another one is already on its way to you? How would that change the way you approach your life?
The problem with or
The problem with living in the world of either/or is that it shuts us off to all of the possibilities of and. Either/or situations are born out of a mindset of scarcity and fear. They inherently, and incorrectly, assume that there is not enough to go around for everyone and that we don’t live in abundant universe. With an either/or mindset, there’s always a winner and a loser, a right and a wrong way, a good or a bad choice. Either/or is incapable of imagining the possibility of what the future could be.
You only have to look as far as the headlines to see how dangerous or can be. Presently, our political climate is plagued with the either/or mindset. The daily rhetoric is that you’re either for border security or you’re for unlimited, unrestricted immigration. You’re for the 2nd Amendment or you’re wanting to take everyones’ guns away.
Can I really not be for both – can I not be for border security and for giving people a chance to come to this great country? Really?
Simply put, an either/or mindset is lame.
The power of and
My prayers have been centered around being more mindful of my perspective and trying to rise above the either/or mindset. I want to embrace the power of an and mindset, because and is where growth and progress live. And is where solutions to life’s greatest problems are found and where you’ll discover the secret’s to living a great life. In other words, finding the courage to see a challenge and have the audacity to say, “I want and instead of or” is the first step to finding your happiness.
Jen Sincero, one of my favorite inspirational authors, explains this really well in her book You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth. She says,
“Make sure you don’t fall prey to the deadly either/or syndrome. Here’s the deal: We live in a fear-based society that totally gets off on cautioning us, on reminding us how difficult life is, on warning us how hard it is to make money, on holding us back lest we bite off more than we can chew, on screaming “Look out!” instead of “Rock on!” As a result, we’ve bought into this idea that it’s better to limit ourselves than to stretch, and we’ve developed this fun-free, either/or take on what is available to us… Instead of looking to where you can cut back, save, and play it safe, look to how you can expand, grow, and start acting like a badass who’s in control of your own life…”
My big and
I recently quit my job because I want to experience our nomadic lifestyle to the fullest. We’ve been on the road for nearly two years, and until November 2018, I worked remotely as a software consultant. It was a great job and the company was amazing. They cheered on our lifestyle and we’re always supportive of me in every way. But, I was still living in an either/or world.
I felt that we could travel full time the way we really wanted to (international trips, heading off the grid, two weeks in Yellowstone etc.) or we could have security and financial stability. My job was a blessing, but it still placed limitations on my life that I no longer wanted.
Somehow, I found the courage to believe that I could have the travel lifestyle that I want and provide financial security for my family. With an and mindset, we started finding potential solutions. In the next couple of months, we will be launching several new businesses. If successful, they’ll better allow us to live the life we truly want.
Creating lasting change, whether it’s in your life, your business or your relationships begins with your mindset. Before you can see or feel the effects of change, you must first make the decision and overcome your fears that reside in your mind. A great place to start with this transformation is to stop living in a world of or, where there are winners, losers and limits. Instead, start thriving in a world of and where anything is possible because you live in a universe created by an unlimited and abundant God.
Dan, Your article hits the nail on the head. Just today I put this quote on our Instagram page: “Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.” I don’t know who said that, but it’s perfect for your post. How great is it that you #1. Recognize these “two worlds of OR”, and #2. Have the courage to follow your dream. Most people just drift through life like zombies and then wonder what happened when they’re old and gray. Your post also reminds me of t the… Read more »
Thank you so much for your reading the post and for your kind words. I hope that I can continue to find the courage to chase my dreams, no matter my age or circumstances, but I know that it will not always be easy. We try really hard to convince ourselves of all the reasons not to do something or to take a risk. But, you can and should try your hardest to live in the moment and pursue your own “and”! Thanks again!